Saturdays....

All week you wait, well I know I do.  For that beautiful two sylable word, "Weekend".
Why?  I no longer know.  I wake up, my wife is in a rush to clean the house from top to bottom.  Don't get me wrong, I understand the need with a young child, an extremely hairy dog and hardwood throughout 3 floors.  But I can tell you, this is not what I remember giving me butterflies waiting for the weekend to arrive.   Weekends use to be made up of Toronto weekends with friends partying til the sun came up...wait I hated those mornings...WHERE AM I GOING WITH THIS? 
The pressure to be responsible and desire to be bad sometimes battle within me like the forces of good and evil and at the end of the day all I want is to be happy and make all those around me happy as well.
But I find myself today on this rainy, indoor day pondering do I like Saturdays? 
Heading out shortly to find ways to forget what day it is to hopefully stop the debate in my head.
Not working on weekends gives me way too much time to think about...
Saturdays.

My employer thinks I am stupid, is that why they hired me?

Sigh, what will be next?  I like to be the voice some will say, the voice no one wants to listen to, yet I am so loud  it's not like they have a choice.  I like to think my points are valid, but surely the way in which I say it is hard to appreciate most of the time.  Sorry dad, but I get this from you.  Growing up, my father was rarely argued with by anyone around him, his loud, assertive tone meant business and never did I see anyone challenge him on it(took me 19 years before I ever did anyways).  A far cry from the man he is today.  Fragile, alone, and unhappy with the path he chose.  But I love him.  More so now than before the great mistakes in this life. 
So it's a bit too late for me to change it appears(sorry wife)...as it is deeply ingrained into my DNA.
Back to my employer.  So when my co-workers and myself are approached with change, and not just the every day adjustments to make our business run more smoothly, more like spitting in our coffee and forcing us to drink it to start our Monday AM kind of change...To say the least, I am ready to vent with a force of 10 employees.
Does it help, never.    What happens is my words are twisted conveniently by those who are not relevant and the people who should be answering must hide in the shadows wondering, "where did this guy come from, and do we actually need him?"  Well I say, "if you think I am stupid, why did you hire me?"

To begin

April 14, 2011.
Brutally honest, hard to warm up to and no ones best friend. That's me, Jesse Edward Martin, JEM for short but only to immediately enter into my bad books.
A little less than 31 years ago, my parents had the bright idea to try for another and this is what they got.
This blog will outline my life from A to B, the trials and tribulations that led me to be me. This is possibly more of a way for me to gather information about myself deeply rooted in my sub concious as to why I think and feel the things I do. If you care to take this journey I only ask one thing...don't call me JEM for short.

I have a son, a wife, a not surprislingly divorced mother and father and 1 younger brother. You most likely will see them refered to by these titles: son, wife, mother, father, brother(younger that is, older may be discussed as well at some point of this blog-but not quite yet)

Now let's begin shall we?

April is here and when most are patiently waiting on the sun to shine, I am waiting for our lord to bless me with the winning #'s to this weeks $50 million Lotto Max.
Is there a greater torture in this world than that Saturday morning when you wake up, take your shower, eat some breakfast and realize once again your dreams have been shattered of becoming your families new begging station for debt relief and loans for "the next best business idea"?

Until next time, keep those unrealistic dreams alive!